40 Days in the Desert

By: Kristen Groff

Very recently I have been challenged in not only my relationship with the Lord but also my relationship with those around me and my relationship with myself, my mind, my soul, my heart. I have come across a couple of verses that have been planted on my heart.

"...Build my altar wherever I cause my name to be remembered, and I will come to you and bless you." -Exodus 20:24

I have already put this verse into practice and have been "building" an altar where I meet God everyday. Although it may just simply be on the wall in my bedroom, I've begun to plant verses that apply to my life currently, prayer requests, and thoughts that I have of God taped there. I meet Him there every night and together we have come to an alarming conclusion...

God has given me the ability, the power, and the strength to be a current victim of change.

Ah, a genius statement, right? Maybe so, although these words may seem obvious, they are challenging. For so long, I have been holding onto my past, lingering among my mistakes, playing events back through my mind over and over again trying to figure where I went wrong and what I could've done differently. I have been holding onto the "garbage" in my life and letting me define myself but its smelly, digusting, and rotting remains.

God has made it very clear and evident in my life lately that our relationship together will not be able to go any further unless I am able to take out the trash. He has been showing me that my relationship with others would be totally different if I just let the past go. He is opening my eyes to see that if I would let go of who I used to be and embrace who He is creating and molding me to be, I would truly learn to love myself and appreciate my relationship with God so much more! As this conclusion has been stated, another verse has stuck with me...

"I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.” -Job 42:6

I have continually been trying to convince myself that my way is the right way and that I know what I'm doing. I keep trying to convince myself that God will just linger along after me as I go through MY plans. I couldn't be more wrong so I am taking back everything I have said, everything that I have falsly believed, and lowering myself to sit in the dust and the ashes, lowering myself to nothing, to show my repentance, to show my desire to change.

Over the next 40 days, I am committing to journeying through the desert with Jesus. Yes, I'm a little nervous and scared but I am confident that over these next couple of weeks, my heart will be at least a small step in the right direction, that I will have let go of at least a small portion of the garbage I've been hanging onto. I am diving all in for the One who really matters.

As of today, I am officially done with my 10th grade year of school! My 40 days begins now, this summer is going to be different, life changing and challenging. I will only be checking Facebook for a short period of time on Sundays to keep updated with Live Love stuff. If you need to get a hold of me, you can call or text me, I will be checking my phone periodically. I'm not disappearing off the face of earth, I'm going on a journey into the desert with Jesus.

I am victim of Change. I am a victim of Grace.

Just like Math Class...

By: Kristen Groff

I am a year ahead in my math courses at school. I am a sophomore in high school and while most other students my age are in either geometry or algebra 2, I am in Pre-Calculus with juniors and seniors. It's one of those classes that I really don't have any friends in so I actually pay attention and take perfect notes. I don't think I've understood math so thoroughly before! What I've begun to notice though, not only in this particular math class but in others as well, is that they always teach you the hard way to do certain problems before they show you how to do the shortcut and the simple way to the answer. I take my notes as time ticks by and think to myself that these problems are going to take forever to complete if we have to do ALL this work for each and every one! But just as we're all convinced that we will be spending the rest of the semester doing these problems the long, drawn out way, we are taught the way that makes more sense to us. I mean, for real, why would we go through all that extra work if we didn't HAVE to. We end up with the same answer. We ask a whole lot less questions when we do it the easier way and have a better chance at getting the answer correct as well.

Tonight at Live Love, we focused on John 3. We did a lot of comparing between Nicodemus and John the Baptist, who are both play significant roles in this chapter. In the first couple of verses we meet Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader, a Pharisee, he essentially believes that Jesus is the Son of God but isn't to the point of being one who is committed. He focused too much on his reputation, his place in the community; he is ashamed for what he believes. Because of this, he goes to Jesus after dark, when no one else see him or question him. He plainly states to Jesus that he has seen his miraculous works and that he knows that God has sent him. To which Jesus replies, "I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God."

Let's dissect this a little bit. Nicodemus goes to Jesus and simply says what he knows, he doesn't ask any questions, he is simply stating what he believes. Jesus must know something though. Let me rephrase that; Jesus knows EVERYTHING! Jesus knows that Nicodemus is coming to him after dark for a reason, he knows his social status in the town, and he knows that essentially he believes in who Jesus says he is, but isn't a committed follower.

That's are main focus of our current series with Live Love... "Xtreme Discipleship"; Learning how to be a truly committed follower. In John 3, Jesus draws the line between being just a believer and committed follower. You can believe all you like but none of that matters unless you follow! Jesus says that the key is to be born again. Not a good enough answer for you? It wasn't for Nicodemus either because he asked for more explanation, "What do you mean?" So Jesus compares experiencing the Spirit to feeling the wind. You can't physically see the wind but you can feel it, hear it, and see the effects of what it does. Just like wind can be incredibly powerful, the Spirit is much the same! Nicodemus still isn't satisfied though... "How are these things possible?" In the next eleven verses, Jesus lays it down for him; plain and clear.

First he needs to make sure Nicodemus knows he's not as great as he may think he is. "You are a respected Jewish teacher, and yet you don't understand these thing?" HA! When I read that the first time, I compared it to that moment in math class when once you get used to doing the problems the long, hard way, the teacher shows you how to do them the easier way; as if saying "you may feel pretty smart doing all that work to get the asnwer, when in reality, there is a MUCH MUCH MUCH simplier way!" After Jesus clears that up with Nicodemus, he explains how God sent his only son to give us eternal life, that he came to save the world, and that we can't live in darkness for fear of our sins being exposed.

We don't find out if Nicodemus says anything else after Jesus enlightens him. I imagine that just as when my math teacher shows us the easier way to do a problem and I sit with almost a frustration and disbelief type of feeling; I picture Nicodemus feeling much of the same way, frustration from spending so long in all the rules, laws, and reputations of their town, and disbelief that Jesus just gave him the secret of how to cross that line from just being a believer to a committed follower. (We find out more about Nicodemus later in the book of John but I promised my girls we'd talk about that at a later time)

After the encounter between Jesus and Nicodemus, we read about John the Baptist, a devoted follower and completely humble. He said himself that he isn't even worthy to unstrap Jesus' sandals. He gets "it". He understands that Jesus came to save the world and that he must become greater and greater as John becomes less and less. The more of Jesus you have in your heart, mind, and life, the less of you will have. Your desires with change. Your dreams with change. Your morals with change. Your perspective will change. Your life will change.

We go from reading about Nicodemus, a Pharisee who had much confusion of what it meant to be committed and who was too ashamed to speak with Jesus in the light of the day... to John the Baptist, a committed follower, who knew where he stood compared to Jesus, and who's desire was to point others in the way of Christ! We go from reading Jesus' explanation of what it means to be a committed follower, to seeing it played out in the life of John the Baptist!

Just like in math class when I get so incredibly frustrated when they show us the easier way to do problems, Jesus is giving us instructions and showing us examples of what it means to be a committed follower, he isn't giving us a list of rules to follow or a specific guideline for how to "solve life"... he is putting this whole idea of discipleship into the simplest terms possible and saying "Come. Follow. All you need is Me."

& If I Let This Dream Die...

By: Kristen Groff

It's been a pretty crazy month and a half... & as I find myself sitting at home sick instead of at school on this very dreary, rainy day, I'm wondering and asking myself how things got to be as crazy as they are lately. Often times we don't even realize when life is first beginning to get knocked off balance because we are constantly on the move. It isn't until the everyday, ordinary schedule and actions seem to not be clicking together that we begin to notice and feel things falling downward.
I've experienced this in my life a lot recently. I've been so busy & tired to the point where waking up in the morning is a lot of work in itself. As much as I hate to admit it, my relationship with God is nowhere near where I would like it to be. I don't get to spend time with Him as much as I would like to. Aside from some health issues, life has been so out of the ordinary and so overwhelming that I don't even know where or how to begin writing my recent thoughts.

^^I wrote that in the middle of October 2011. So much has taken place since then! I will not spend anymore time dwelling on those things of the past because I am thrilled for what the Lord has in store for the future! We've had our share of bumps and challenges but Live Love is beginning to get itself back on track again although we are little smaller in number now.

"If I let this dream die" .... I chose that title for this article a long time ago. Tonight at Live Love, we talked a little bit about dying to ourselves, about letting go of our desires and embracing the Lord's desires; about letting go of our dreams and latching onto the Lord's dreams. Often times, I get in the way of Live Love. I try to take over, simply because I am a very controlling person. Things fall apart, get crazy, and I fall off the face of the earth like I just recently did... But if I allow all these crazy dreams to die and let God have control, then maybe, just maybe, lives will be changed, I won't feel so drained, and an even more beautiful picture will be painted.
That is the goal of our current series "Xtreme Discipleship". We are simply stepping back to what God has in store for us once we have died to ourselves. I am beyond excited to see Him move throughout the group and our community. I can't wait to watch as He begins to pour out His love on all these beautiful and unique girls. I am allowing some of my biggest dreams to die and giving up control.

My time is Your time; use it how You've planned. I'm all in, God.