By: Kristen Groff
Very recently I have been challenged in not only my relationship with the Lord but also my relationship with those around me and my relationship with myself, my mind, my soul, my heart. I have come across a couple of verses that have been planted on my heart.
"...Build my altar wherever I cause my name to be remembered, and I will come to you and bless you." -Exodus 20:24
I have already put this verse into practice and have been "building" an altar where I meet God everyday. Although it may just simply be on the wall in my bedroom, I've begun to plant verses that apply to my life currently, prayer requests, and thoughts that I have of God taped there. I meet Him there every night and together we have come to an alarming conclusion...
God has given me the ability, the power, and the strength to be a current victim of change.
Ah, a genius statement, right? Maybe so, although these words may seem obvious, they are challenging. For so long, I have been holding onto my past, lingering among my mistakes, playing events back through my mind over and over again trying to figure where I went wrong and what I could've done differently. I have been holding onto the "garbage" in my life and letting me define myself but its smelly, digusting, and rotting remains.
God has made it very clear and evident in my life lately that our relationship together will not be able to go any further unless I am able to take out the trash. He has been showing me that my relationship with others would be totally different if I just let the past go. He is opening my eyes to see that if I would let go of who I used to be and embrace who He is creating and molding me to be, I would truly learn to love myself and appreciate my relationship with God so much more! As this conclusion has been stated, another verse has stuck with me...
"I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.” -Job 42:6
I have continually been trying to convince myself that my way is the right way and that I know what I'm doing. I keep trying to convince myself that God will just linger along after me as I go through MY plans. I couldn't be more wrong so I am taking back everything I have said, everything that I have falsly believed, and lowering myself to sit in the dust and the ashes, lowering myself to nothing, to show my repentance, to show my desire to change.
Over the next 40 days, I am committing to journeying through the desert with Jesus. Yes, I'm a little nervous and scared but I am confident that over these next couple of weeks, my heart will be at least a small step in the right direction, that I will have let go of at least a small portion of the garbage I've been hanging onto. I am diving all in for the One who really matters.
As of today, I am officially done with my 10th grade year of school! My 40 days begins now, this summer is going to be different, life changing and challenging. I will only be checking Facebook for a short period of time on Sundays to keep updated with Live Love stuff. If you need to get a hold of me, you can call or text me, I will be checking my phone periodically. I'm not disappearing off the face of earth, I'm going on a journey into the desert with Jesus.
I am victim of Change. I am a victim of Grace.
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